Operation BullyHorn

Anonymous asked: You've been promoted! Haha, so yeah just letting you know... again I guess!!! Oh, don't forget.... Squirrel!! Shiny object!!! Ok so somethings a little off if you don't know who this is now lol! Ttyl!

me?  Not know who it is?  NEVER!!!!! :)  Though there is ONE thing I’m totally lost about.  Why the heck does it not show your profile in the list of people I’m following?  That makes NO sense!  Did I mention I’m still not that great at tumblr?  Ah well, it’ll come with time.  And today I just might set up google + for bullyhorn….and then TrevorSpace and myrainbowspace and…..and….BLAH!

billysrantings asked: Glad Things Went Well, keep up the good work!

Thanks, Billy!!!!! It’s worth it if we even save one life or stop one person from hurting someone else.

A Matter of Responsibility, Not a Matter of Blame

So yesterday was Operation Bullyhorn’s first fundraiser. We were blessed to be given a space at the Bragg Blvd flea market to set up a booth and sell items there from 8am til 4pm. Despite having a rough location with our table, the day went far better than expected and we got a lot closer to our monetary goal than I ever dreamed we would.

Something happened about half-way through the day, though, that I think needs to be addressed. A middle-aged man approached the table and, looking at our banner, asked me what Operation Bullyhorn was all about. I explained to him that we are trying to work in schools and with communities to stop the widespread problem of bullying that has overtaken our society. His response was along the lines of “oh, so you’re teaching the sissies to stand up for themselves?” I was a bit caught off guard as, I could tell, were the couple people at our table who heard it. I told him that no, that wasn’t our mission. Our mission was to bring awareness, education and advocacy addressing the far too many suicides due to youth being called names and harmed in other ways. I offered a flyer and business card and he took them and started to walk away.

After about five feet, he turned around and came back. He spent the next five minutes telling me that what we are doing is an organization is a good thing and how when he was young he used to bully one of the kids in his class, who he later tracked down and apologized to. He then shared that he thought he did it because he, too, was bullied when he was younger.

This brings about an interesting point. A lot of people get defensive when the subject of bullying is brought up. People say things like “well, it seems like we can’t say or do ANYTHING, even in fun, anymore because it’s now called bullying!” Or they say that it’s unfair to put the blame for bullying on school administrators, parents, pastors, community leaders, politicians, etc.

I want to talk about the second point. I completely agree with it. Teachers aren’t to blame for bullying. Parents aren’t to blame for bullying. Those who bully others aren’t to blame for bullying. Before you think I’ve completely lost my mind, hear me out.

I don’t think blame is a helpful concept. Blame looks back at what has already happened. Blame is that angrily human part of us that has to make somebody responsible for the pain we experience in this life. When we cast blame, we aren’t trying to fix the situation. We are exacerbating it by creating side issues of strife and discord which take away from the real issue at hand.

Rather than blame, I think we need to focus on changing our thinking to that of responsibility. Blame looks backward and dwells on what has already happened, which can’t be changed anyway. Responsibility, on the other hand, looks forward and says “what can we do together to make sure the world we live in is as safe and loving as possible?” Notice that important word….TOGETHER. When we think of blame, we want it to focus on everyone but ourselves. It’s an attack word, one that puts people on the defensive. Responsibility, however, is something that if we shoulder together can even be enjoyable and foster a sense of teamwork, family, and togetherness. Responsibility allows people to shine in working together using their own unique gifts as a part of a whole working toward a common goal.

We need to realize that, with the problem of bullying, we are talking about a whole system that is sick, that is malfunctioning, and that has lost its way. It involves everyone and it takes everyone working together to make it stop. It’s so ingrained in our society, in many ways, that quite truthfully people don’t even always realize when they are doing it. Some can’t differentiate between bullying and harmless joking around. Many, I’d wager, can’t. There are times even now when I say something and catch myself wondering if what I said could have been taking as a form of bullying. But that awareness is there now. I may not catch everything I say before it comes out of my mouth, but it’s on my mind and I’m far more conscious of it. That’s ALL of our responsibility; not to be perfect, not to have to go into a panic attack every time we try to talk because we are worried something we say might be offensive, but to be mindful; to think about the issue so that, just as quickly as bullying habits formed, those habits can be stopped. All it takes is a commitment to try; really try. Before you say something, especially out of anger or frustration, ask yourself “is this something that could hurt somebody?” If you’re having trouble answering that, then put yourself in the shoes of the person it’s being said about and ask yourself how you’d feel if it was directed at you. If it would hurt you, don’t say it. Find other ways to express how you’re feeling. We are all taught it growing up….in the words of a small, bashful cartoon rabbit “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nuttin’ at all.” Why do we work so hard to teach young children this, and then throw the lesson our in our own lives as we grow older? Make a commitment today to be mindful, to have a going away party for blame and a welcome home party for responsibility.